Just Breathe
by Quallianmaghouin
Summary: Sequel to "Breathe, Kurt"  Kurt is learning to deal with his Panic Disorder again, with the help of Finn and Puck. But it's not easy keeping secrets and a harmless prank might ruin everything.  Eventual Puck/Kurt
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The thing about panic attacks, Kurt thought sadly, as he studied his reflection in the vanity mirror, was that they were like potato chips. You could never have just one, they weren't healthy, and it was absolute murder on your complexion. Really, Kurt could just do without them all together.

The attacks had become more frequent, though not nearly so severe, since the one Puck and Finn had witnessed. His therapist said it was just all the stress: too many extracurricular activities, a home life turned upside down, actual friends, raging hormones (Okay, maybe she had a point with that one. Being the only openly gay guy in the entire town, excluding Rachel's dads who were both too old and too not-single, didn't help). Mr. Schuester had even given him a lead solo, full of high notes, to sing the next time New Directions got in a pissing contest with Vocal Adrenaline, and the prospect was as terrifying as it was exciting.

So really, he had tons of reasons to be a mess. His therapist just said to go with the flow, remember your breathing exercises, and see you next Tuesday. The panic attacks would go away again, given time.

With a sigh, he swiped some astringent over the small breakout near his hairline. At least it would be easy to cover up. A little concealer, an artful arrangement of his bangs, if nothing else, he could wear a hat. But right now he couldn't be bothered. Finn and "the boys" were planning a video game night, and while it was true that he didn't mind them taking over his room every once in a while (In fact it was kind of fun, and still a novel concept to tell his dad that he had guy friends coming to hang out) it didn't mean that his place had to be a pig sty.

Kurt started to clean up, though honestly that mainly consisted of fluffing pillows, straightening throws, and making sure his vintage muscle magazines were will hidden, and really it was stupid to be nervous. It was just the guys from glee club. Finn, his brother, who pretty much lived in his room anyway. Puck, who was there nearly as much as Finn since they had been paired up for a science project, and Puck found out Kurt could usually be convinced to provide cookies. Artie was cool, and a tiny part of Kurt's brain pointed out that he could totally outrun the other boy, especially considering that there were stairs involved. (Kurt told his brain shut up, and out of all of them Artie was the least likely to toss him in a dumpster or eat his brains.) Matt was the quiet type, which was a little freaky, but he was nice enough and had a wicked sense of humor once you got him talking. Mike was pretty cool too, and mostly remembered not to jump on Kurt when he was having a celebratory spazz out after beating the others, again. Mike seemed to win a lot.

So really. Nothing to worry about. Just the guys. He flinched as the door slammed above his head, a rush of laughter and heavy footfalls. A second later and his phone dinged, alerting him to a new text message from Finn.

"Upstairs. Ok to come down?"

He had told Finn he didn't mind people in his room. It was only fair really since he had the best entertainment system, and the best seating. (and the best decor, but really, no contest.) Finn had talked to Dad, and Dad had apparently shared all his tips for the care and feeding of a panic attack prone Kurt. So Finn made sure to ask a lot, and gave him plenty of warning before doing something potentially disruptive.

Kurt smiled, forcing himself to sit down in a chair and look comfortable. He tucked a book next to him so he'd have something to escape to if he needed it, then answered Finn's text. Above him he could hear the guys, raiding the kitchen from the direction of the sounds.

"Yep. Tell Puck to put the cake back. That's not for him."

It was an educated guess, but considering that the football player had already tucked away half the cake in the past two days, he figured he wouldn't be far off, and he really didn't want his brother's best friend to go missing because he got between Burt Hummel and the last slice of black forest.

"You ruin all my fun" Puck complained, announcing his presence as he clomped loudly down the stairs, a soda and piece of cold pizza in his hands. He was studying Kurt, obvious in his attempt at subtlety.

Puck, surprisingly, had become nearly as much of a mother hen as Finn, though he balanced it with teasing during glee, and stealing his hat in the halls, and mocking his clothing...well pretty much all the time. At least they were, mostly, subtle enough in their fussing that the rest of the gleeks were unaware of Kurt's predicament.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "You and Dad can fight over it later. There's yogurt in the crisper if you want something sweet."

Puck made a face and plopped down near Kurt, while Mike, Matt and Finn maneuvered Artie's wheelchair down the stairs. The wheelchair bound boy was obviously doubling as a snack tray, his lap piled high with drinks and chips.

"Did he just say yogurt?" Artie asked, in mocking disbelief.

"There's nothing wrong with yogurt!" Kurt fired back. It was an old argument. "It's good for you."

"It's like...bacteria" Finn added.

"bacteria that's allliiiiivve" Mike set Artie down and lifted his arms in a zombie impersonation. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Alive and doing it." Matt's expression was serious. "It's a bacteria orgy in your mouth."

"oh my god!" Kurt slapped a hand to his forehead. "You're disgusting!"

Matt just grinned, fist bumping Puck as he took his own place on the couch.

"We're just worried about your health." Mike ruffled Kurt's hair and dropped a wii remote in his lap. "Bowling. You, me and Artie vs. Matt, Puck and Finn"

Kurt studied the scene in his room, already surprisingly familiar and comfortable. He could handle this. Just a night in. With the guys. And he knew they chose bowling on purpose. He couldn't resist that game.

Puck raised an eyebrow.

Kurt stuck out his tongue, before being pulled into the drama that was Finn getting his hand caught in a remote's wrist strap...again.

Yeah. He could totally handle this.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Finn was really starting to hate panic attacks. Kurt said it was fine. That they cycled sometimes, and Finn was just worrying too much, and truthfully Kurt was doing okay, most of the time. They had been slowly figuring out some of the triggers (open spaces, loud noises, not having an escape route, and wrinkled scarves...though that last one might have been a joke), but sometimes Kurt would just breeze through those situations. Other times Kurt just seemed to get anxious for no reason at all. It was frustrating, and a little scary.

"You've got to tell them". Finn said, leaning against the sink in the boy's bathroom. Kurt had locked himself in a bathroom stall, and had been in there for the last 10 minutes, alternating between pacing and shaking. Finn could hear Kurt working through his breathing exercises, trying to calm down.

It had been a pretty normal day, until Glee Practice. Kurt had been quiet, sitting towards the back, and rubbing at the thin skin above his knuckles, one of his 'tells'. Kurt had been nervous, but waved Finn off, telling him that it had just been a long day, and gone back to studying sheet music that Finn knew he had memorized.

Kurt managed to last all of 15 minutes before Schuester had tried to make him participate in some free dancing, by hauling him out of the chair by his arms.

Which is why Finn was now sitting in the boy's bathroom with his brother, while his phone vibrated with concerned text messages.

Finn was actually kind of impressed. Kurt had managed to "accidently" step on Schue's feet, giving him an opportunity to slither out of the teacher's grasp, before muttering something about needing to pee and running out of the room. He had stopped long enough to tell Fin "yellow". Which was Kurt code for "just need some space. I'll be okay. come looking if I'm not back in 15 minutes". (It was a pretty complex code. Code Red was pretty serious, but Code Pink just meant "No I'm not having a panic attack. I'm just being a bitch because I can't find a bow tie to match my vest.").

Finn had lasted 8 minutes before going to find his step-brother.

"Seriously, You've got to tell them." Finn repeated, holding out a wet paper towel as Kurt reemerged from the stall, eyes red. "This is the second time this week and they're all worried. You're quieter. More jumpy. Half of them think you have an eating disorder, the other half think you're dying of some rare disease...and Brittany thinks you're having morning sickness."

Kurt barked out a laugh, washing his face carefully. "It's fine. It's getting better."

Finn sighed, not missing the trembling in the smaller boy's fingers. "I worry about you. You really scared me the first time I saw you freaking out. "

"Sorry" Kurt muttered, automatically.

"Not your fault." Finn replied. "What are you going to do if you have a panic attack and me or Puck aren't there? Lock yourself in the bathroom all day? You know that's not going to stop Mercedes. It would be easier if you just let us take care of you"

"I don't want people to know" Kurt said stubbornly, and Finn felt, not for the first time, that he was talking to a five year old. "I don't want people feeling sorry for me, or thinking I'm a freak."

"Everyone in the school thinks you're a freak" Puck said, slipping into the bathroom, trying to keep the door closed as much as possible. "Seriously dude, you walked around in a silver dress and 10 inch heels."

"Thanks." Kurt said, and Puck shrugged.

"Well if you're not going to tell them you better think of an excuse fast. Mercedes sent me in to make sure you're dressed. You've got 15 seconds before she comes in."

Kurt's eyes widened, and Puck turned on the tap. "Wash your mouth out. that way she'll think you're sick. Keep a hand on your stomach and swallow like you're trying not to throw up."

Finn scowled. He didn't like Kurt's secretiveness. The guys were really worried, and he knew that they'd do everything they could to help him. Kurt was spiraling. He'd start getting fidgety, and then he would start worrying, and then he would start worrying about his friends knowing that he was worrying, and then worrying that he was too obviously worrying and it all ended up with him crying alone in the bathroom while his friends were left trying to figure out what the hell was wrong.

With a sigh, Finn gave in. "Do you want to go back to glee?"

Kurt visibly braced himself, then nodded. Puck took point, prepared to take the brunt of Mercedes' anxiety and Finn slung an arm over his brother's shoulders, steering him back out into the hallway.

Maybe Burt could talk to him or something.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Puck was a badass, and a stud, and totally undeniably 100% heterosexual. So really Finn could knock the whole hovering big-brother thing right the fuck off. Besides, Puck wasn't even being particularly nice to Kurt. Except when he was, because you couldn't not be nice to Kurt sometimes. It was like kicking a kitten with chemo.

And that kitten had some serious claws, Puck decided as Kurt walked behind the couch, smacked him upside the head, and kept on walking, never looking up from his text book.

"Feet off the table." Kurt demanded. And okay, it was his table. It was his room, but Puck felt like being rude. He left his feet where they were, waiting for the other boy's reaction.

Kurt sat down in a ridiculously oversized chair, and kept reading. "10." he announced.

Puck cocked an eyebrow.

"9." Kurt replied.

Puck crossed his arms.

"8. 7. 6. 5. 4." Kurt counted down evenly.

Puck smirked, keeping his feet firmly on the couch

"3. 2.- " Kurt paused. "1!"

Puck totally didn't shriek when Kurt pounced. He was just startled. Which is the only reason Kurt was able to grab him by the ankle and pull him off the couch.

"Better" Kurt said happily, stealing Puck's place.

Puck blinked up at him from the floor. "You bitch." he muttered, smacking Kurt's leg.

He wasn't quite sure how things devolved from there, but one minute they were studying and the next they were on the floor in the middle of the basement, the furniture pushed to the side, and Puck was teaching Kurt wrestling moves. (Real wrestling moves, and it wasn't nearly as homoerotic as it sounded.)

And yeah, okay it was probably a little weird, because just yesterday Kurt had freaked out when Schue got a little handsy. Maybe it was just that desensitizing shit Kurt talked about. The same reason the idiot walked by the flag pole every day at school, but he was actually pretty good and had even managed to pin Puck once.

"You know why I like you?" Kurt asked, straddling Puck's back, with a knee on his neck.

Puck froze.

"No! No no no. Do NOT get any ideas." Kurt squawked quickly, scrambling off Puck. "The reason I like you AS A FRIEND"

Puck sighed in relief, rolling over so he could make eye contact with the smaller boy, and if he did a quick tent check on his jeans, well that was just years of locker room paranoia.

"The reason I like you as a friend" Kurt continued, "and I use that term loosely-"

Puck rolled his eyes.

"Is because you're an asshole."

Puck blinked. "Er... thanks."

"You come into my house, you laugh at my singing, you steal my food, and you insult my decor."

"It looks like a porno set." Puck agreed. And it really really did. One of those artistic black and white ones. He wished he could have seen Allibaba's whorehouse before Kurt took it down. And even Kurt had to admit his singing, while pretty freaking awesome, looked so weird coming from a guy...even a Kurt type of guy. Puck was pretty sure though that Vocal Adrenaline had nothing on Kurt's girl voice.

"And you tackle me." Kurt continued.

"You tackled me first!" Puck protested, but was dismissed with a hand wave.

"The point is, you don't treat me any differently than you did before I started freaking out all the time. Finn treats me like I'm about to snap and climb a clock tower, or that I'm some kind of shaky teacup poodle that he has to take care of."

And now, Puck really can't get that image out of his mind. Because he had just compared Kurt to a kitten. There were too many animal similes going on here...or was it metaphors? But yeah, he could see how it would be annoying to be treated like that.

"Even when I have a panic attack, you just take care of it. You don't treat me like a freak." Kurt seemed to have realized he was rambling a little, because he ducked his head.

It's not like Kurt could help freaking out. It wasn't his fault. Puck wouldn't treat Artie any differently for being in a wheel chair. Alright, so that was possibly a bad example, but really, he had taken his bitch slap from Artie about the whole portapotty thing and they were past it.

So Kurt was a little weird. Nothing new there. He was just weird in a different way now. And he liked Puck for being an asshole.

Well, Puck aimed to please.

"You are a freak" Puck reminded Kurt with a roll of his eyes before pouncing him (carefully) and putting him into a wrestling hold that involved pinning Kurt's hands behind his back. "How many times do I have to tell you that?"

Later Puck nursed a black eye, while Finn gave him a strangely apologetic that's-my-baby-sister glare and Kurt fixed him up the last slice of pie as a peace offering. He reminded himself the Finn had the absolute worst timing when it came to making an entrance, and never jumped to the conclusion that it was just a fun little heterosexual wrestling match between friends.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"What is going on with you boy?"

Kurt pulled his head out of his locker and eyed Mercedes warily.

"...I have no idea what you mean." Maybe he could fool her. She did think they were dating for awhile.

"Kurt. You were standing in the hall with your head in a locker. That's not normal, even for you." Mercedes was standing with her arms crossed, and Kurt couldn't help notice that she had a new shirt. He thought about mentioning it, but she'd just think he was trying to divert her attention.

What was going on, was that Kurt had a high F solo in front of Vocal Adrenaline today, an imminent breakout of stress related acne and a folder full of letters from his therapist to give to his teachers.

They had decided (she had decided) that at the very least Kurt needed to inform them about his condition, in case he had to leave class again. Maybe it would help, Mr. Schuester had been giving him these soul crushing puppy eyes for a week now.

Puck, during a 3 a.m. texting conversation (Kurt had dreamed that someone had locked him in the basement while the house burned. Their parents weren't home and even Finn couldn't calm Kurt down enough to forget the sounds of his dad screaming.) had declared that Kurt was also telling the gleeks about his disorder. He had threatened to sit on Kurt until he squealed and Kurt couldn't figure out if Puck meant figuratively or literally.

"...Kurt?" oh right. Mercedes.

He drew his attention back to his friend, and squinted as he tried to remember what she had said. Something about...something.

"Are you even listening to me?" Mercedes asked, reaching out to feel his forehead for a fever.

"Uh-huh" Kurt nodded. Mercedes didn't look convinced. Kurt sighed.

"Look. I know you're worried, and I promise I'll tell you everything. Just... I just need to get through the day okay? I'll be fine, I've got Puck on speed dial, and I promise, every last detail today at glee." He pinned Mercedes with his best sad-gay-puppy eyes, and saw her melt a little, then she seemed to process what he actually said.

"Puck? What does Puck- oh my god! I *knew* something was going on between the two of you!" The girl's voice had risen an octave, and Kurt manfully resisted the urge to stick his head back in the locker.

"You two are always hanging out now." Mercedes continued. "And he's being so *nice*. That boy growled at Mr. Schuester when he tried to show you how to do the new footwork."

"..." ...Wait had actually used ellipses out loud?

Mercedes was giving him an odd look.

"We aren't - I -that's just-" he spluttered. That was so, so, so wrong. Puck and he weren't...well maybe if Puck was gay, and Kurt was kind of dumb. But no. They were just friends...who cuddled. And that was mostly Kurt. Puck grumbled whenever Kurt would lean against his chest to feel his breathing, and would use the opportunity to extort baked goods from him.

"Kurt!" Mercedes shook him sharply. "Breathe!"

Kurt sucked in a breath. "We're not dating!" he blurted out.

"Okay". His girl apparently didn't believe him. "Don't freak out. Forget I mentioned it. Just-" She paused, fixing his hair and giving him a small smile. "let me know if you need help. And I want updates. Every half hour. Promise?"

Kurt nodded and then impulsively pulled Mercedes into a hug as the bell rang. "Promise. And I'll tell you everything, right after we cream Vocal Adrenaline."

"Everything, boy." Mercedes demanded, over her shoulder as they parted and she let herself be swept up in the rush of students heading to class.

Kurt nodded, then waited until she was out of sight before slowly pulling out the folder his therapist had given him. He took a deep calming breath, closed his locker and headed to class, mentally rehearsing what to say to his first teacher.

'Hi. Ms. Gibbs? Can I talk to you for a minute-'


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Finn wasn't a violent guy. I mean, yeah, he kicked over his chair sometimes, and he slashed 26 sets of tires. And that one time he nearly slapped Kurt for offering him a moist towelette. He still felt really bad about that. And okay he had that one wheelchair fight with Puck, and kind of gave him a black eye when he found him assaulting his baby brother with "wrestling moves".

So even though Finn wasn't a violent guy, he really kind of wanted to punch Jesse St. James in the face. He glared at the leader of Vocal Adrenaline from his seat in front of the stage until he was interrupted by a punch to his arm. He turned around to see Puck leaning forward, looking worried.

"Have you seen Kurt?" Puck asked.

"No" Finn shook his head. "I figured he was with the other girls. I mean... with the girls." he looked around. The rest of New Directions had congregated while he had been staring at Jesse. Everyone but Kurt was present and accounted for.

"We haven't seen him since lunch." Mercedes added, and Finn frowned.

"Has anyone seen him lately?" There was a chorus of 'no's.

"He said he had to tell Mr. Schuester something" Artie added. He and Kurt had Spanish together at the end of the day. "But he didn't stick around after class, and me and Mr. Schue came pretty much straight here."

Puck and Finn exchanged glances and both pulled out their phones. Puck shook his head, and Finn double checked his own. No texts.

Rachel was twisting her hands in his laps. "He can't miss this. He's the lead!" she hissed, and was about to continue when Schuester walked over, laying his hand on Finn's shoulder.

The teacher ducked his head, speaking quietly. "Where's Kurt? Vocal Adrenaline is ready to start, and we need everyone here."

Finn knew Kurt wouldn't miss this. Kurt had been going on and on about how it was important to size up the competition, and they had a killer song lined up that was going to knock the socks off of Jesse and his cronies. Which meant Kurt was probably having a panic attack somewhere, even though he hadn't given Finn or Puck the codeword. ...Maybe he was panicking because his phone had died?

"Uhm..Mr. Schue?" Finn asked "Has Kurt talked to you today about...anything?"

"No. What's going on Finn?"

Puck scowled, shooting Finn a glare. "Hummel's not feeling well. I'm going to go look for him." He butted in.

Finn nodded in agreement. Kurt had promised to tell the club, and it wasn't their place to share his secret. Just as they stood up the lights dimmed, and 24 members of Vocal Adrenaline taking their places on the lit stage.

Finn saw Schuester's concerned face, sweeping between him and Puck, and then down at the rest of the glee club, all of who looked ready to follow them out the door. Their teacher sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face, and motioning for Finn and Puck to sit back down. "Right. after they finish We'll all go look okay? We can't leave in the middle of their song."

Finn sighed but dropped back into his seat, shielding his glowing cellphone screen with his hand while he checked again for any missed messages, out of the corner of his eye, he saw everyone else doing the same. Even Mr. Schuester's hands crept to his pocket.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Kurt stuffed his books into his locker, knowing that he was smiling like a maniac. He had gotten through the whole day, including 8 different variations of "Hey, just a head's up. I might randomly freak out and run screaming from the room." Most of them, barring Sue Sylvester of course, had taken it fairly well, and Coach Tanaka had even offered to let him hide out in the locker room if he needed too, which, while thoroughly disgusting, was a really thoughtful gesture. It had been a good day.

So now it was just glee. And singing...in front of Vocal Adrenaline. ...And coming out of the mentally ill closet to his friends.

Piece of cake. Totally. He was calm. He was cool. He was collected.

A hand slammed against the locker next to him and Kurt jumped. Hadn't the hall just been empty? He followed the (huge) hand up a (gigantic) arm, and too a (very nicely muscled, dammit, down boy) chest. A chest covered in a hideous sweatshirt, bearing the logo of Caramel High's glee club.

Wonderful.

Kurt straightened up, slipping into what Santana had called his 'ice bitch' face, and managed to look down his nose at a guy 6 inches taller, and 60 pounds heavier than him.

"What do you want?" He sneered, swallowing down the lump in his throat that was either his heart or his testicles.

"You Hummel? That Nude Erection that sings like a girl?"

Kurt tried to subtly retrieve his math book, thinking it would make a good bludgeoning weapon, but the dancer in front of him blocked his path, so he settled for crossing his arms over his chest in what he hoped was a defiant manner.

"You mean Hummel, the guy that sings, dances, and dresses better than any of you? The New Direction that's going to kick your ass at Regionals? Yeah, that's me." Kurt tried to make it sound like an honest question, but ended up smirking halfway though.

And apparently it wasn't the right answer anyway, Kurt thought, as he found himself swung off his feet, wrapped in a pair of (jesus christ did they use steroids?) arms from behind. He hadn't even known someone was behind him.

He instinctively kicked out, managing to catch Goon 1 square in the ...ear. Okay that hadn't worked. He tried again, catching a chin before his legs were grabbed as well, and goon 2 adjusted his grip, pinning Kurt against his chest with one arm, leaving a free hand to stifle the smaller boy's screams.

Kurt struggled, even biting down on the hand wedged into his mouth as he felt his chest tighten. Shit. He couldn't breathe. No. Not now! He couldn't breathe.

"Jesus Christ, kid." Goon 1 swore, tightening his grip as they carried him...somewhere. "We're not going to hurt you. Stop squirming. Ow."

Kurt giggled, feeling light headed as he managed to shove a knee into the dancer's chest, but his inappropriate glee turned to pure terror when he saw there destination, he suddenly went limp, nearly making Goon 2 drop him as he suddenly stopped struggling.

"We heard you liked the flagpole."

And shit it was bad enough that everyone in Lima Fucking Ohio knew. Why not Caramel too. Kurt stared at the metal pole foggily, hoping at least that he wouldn't piss his pants this time. His chest hurt. He couldn't feel his legs.

"Thought you might want to spend some more time with it. You need some fresh air. Spend too much time inside singing." He was spun around, the cold metal molding his back into a rigid line. Something slipped over his wrists tightened. He couldn't move.

He couldn't breathe.

"Don't." Was that him? Was he that quiet? "Please don't. Don't. Pleasepleasedon'tplease" The voice faded into a roar of sound in his ears, like the ocean. Other voices surfaced, were swept away, pulled down. The world was blurry, and wet, and salty on his lips.

He couldn't breathe. He was drowning.

Please. He picked up the chanting, Please don't don'tpleasepleasedon'tdon't.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Puck shifted restlessly, and was on his feet before the final note started echoing. Kurt still hadn't shown up, and those assholes had pranced around on stage for at least 5 minutes.

Mr. Schuester's hand landed on his shoulder and he might have growled, slightly. But really he had better things to do. like Kurt. Not that he wanted to do Kurt. He wanted to find Kurt, and possibly beat him with his phone for not telling someone he was having problems.

So Puck ignored Schue, and took charge of the situation.

"Finn. You're with me. We'll check the bathrooms on this side." And that's probably where Kurt would be. It was a straight shot from Spanish Class to the auditorium. But just in case.

"Kurt should have been here by now, but he's ..." Puck paused. "sick. Matt, Artie. Take the bathrooms on the other side. Mike, Tina, Santana, you've got upstairs bathrooms. Quinn and Rachel, check outside, especially by the dumpsters. Mercedes, try the choir room and Schue's office. Schue-"

Whoops. Got carried away. Schuester was staring at him, eyebrows lifted, but seemed to be willing to listen to Puck.

"Uhm, Distract Vocal Adrenaline? First person to find him, text me or Finn. We know how to deal with Kurt when he's ...sick."

Without really waiting for a response he took off out the door. Finn close on his heels.

10 minutes, and 6 bathrooms later Kurt was still nowhere to be found.

"Maybe he went home?" Finn asked uncertainly, and Puck really wondered sometimes exactly how much pot Mrs. Hudson had smoked when she was pregnant.

"He would have told us. And he wouldn't have left." Puck answered, though he was already texting Quinn, telling her to check the parking lot for Kurt's car. Halfway through his phone buzzed, popping a text from Rachel onto the screen. He heard Finn's phone beep at the same time.

"Flag Pole. Tied up. Hurry" (Puck was kind of impressed. That had to be the shortest text Rachel had ever sent.) His heart dropped.

He was running before Finn could even get the phone out of his pocket. No. Just fucking no. What kind of sick asshole tied a kid to a flag pole. He could hear Finn swearing behind him, and a clatter as one of them dropped their phone. He wasn't really sure, and didn't care.

The doors were right in front of them, propped open. That was good, he didn't know if he could slow down long enough to open a door. He was out the door and past the girls, sliding to a stop as he saw Kurt.

Fuck.

Kurt looked dead. Worse than dead. He was white, lips tinged a funny grayish pink, and eyes squeezed shut. He was pressed up against the flag pole, muscles twitching randomly, like he was trying to push himself right into the metal. His hands were clenched, blood dribbling from the closed fists, twisted up in the rope from the flag and some scrap cord. Tears were streaming down his face.

Worst of all, and really (how could Puck classify it as worst?) bits of eggshell were smashed into Kurt's hair, a trail of slimy egg white covering his eyes, a little yolk still clinging to his chin.

Eggs were something of a signature for Vocal Adrenaline.

Kurt wasn't making a sound.

He looked back at Finn, seeing the same shock. Quinn had a hand over her mouth, and Rachel was clinging to her arm.

"He screamed." Rachel said, sounding detached. "Quinn touched him and he screamed."

Puck nodded, feeling strangely calm. "Go get Schuester."

Rachel held up her phone. "Done. And the others. They're all coming. What do we do?"

It was Finn who answered, unbuttoning his shirt and shrugging it off, before tugging his undershirt back down self-consciously. "Just...stay back."

Puck took Finn's shirt, slowly stepping closer to Kurt.

"Kurt?" He called out. "Kurt, can you here me?"

Kurt's head jerked slightly in Puck's direction, but that was it. God, he looked so small.

"Hey Kurt." Puck kept his voice soft, falling easily into the soothing rhythm that seemed to relax the younger teen "Shh Kurt. It's all right. We're here. Puck and Finn, We're here and we're going to take care of you all right? Just breathe Kurt, I'm going to touch you okay, but it's just me. It's just us."

He reached out lightly, using Finn's shirt to wipe the egg off of Kurt's face. Kurt shivered, turning towards the soft cloth the tiniest bit. His breath hitched, rapid and shallow.

"There we go." Puck continued. "You're okay. You're fine." He carefully brushed the eggshells off of Kurt's head, letting his fingers trail down Kurt's cheek. "See. still just me. Now Finn's going to untie your hands okay? Don't worry it's just Finn. It's just us."

Puck braced himself to catch Kurt as Finn moved behind him, freeing his brother, but Kurt stayed upright, pushing against the pole, his eyes hadn't opened once.

Carefully, with Finn's help they lowered him to the ground and Puck cradled him against his chest, tucking his head under his chin, he swept his free hand over Kurt's shoulder, again.

The smaller body was cold where he pressed against him, and his chest rose and fell in ragged jerks.

"Shh. Kurt. Shh. You're okay. You're fine. Come on Kurt, talk to me baby. You're safe. I've got you."

Kurt shivered, and Puck could feel tears sliding down his chest. A shaking arm slowly wrapped around his back, and Kurt's breathing hitched again, stuttering and turning into a half choked sob.

"There we go. Shh, shh. You're okay. It's just me. I've got you. Can you hear me?"

There was a tiny nod against his shoulder, and Puck smiled, pressing a kiss onto the crown of Kurt's head. "Good. Good. You're doing good. You're okay. Keep breathing. Got to breathe. Just breathe with me baby, you're doing good."

He rocked Kurt slightly as looked up. The rest of the glee club had arrived, pressed against the glass walls, white with shock. Members of Vocal Adrenaline were milling about in the hall, afraid to come outside, but unable to leave the scene.

Finn was kneeling next to him and Kurt, blocking Kurt from their view, and Schuester was crouched down in front of them. How had he missed that?

"We need to get him inside." Puck realized he was giving orders again, but didn't care.

"He needs to be somewhere safe and quiet. He's having a panic attack."

Schuester studied Kurt, and Puck resisted the urge to tighten his grip around the boy in his arms.

"Do I need to call an ambulance? What happened."

"No!" He heard Finn echoing him, and Puck went back to shushing Kurt, who had tensed at the sound of another voice so close.

"No." Finn repeated. "He doesn't like hospitals. It won't help anyway, but Puck can calm him down. Somebody-" (Even Puck could hear 'Vocal Adrenaline' in the pause) "-tied him to the flag pole. Everybody knows he freaked out last year when someone tied him to the pole. We had an assembly about it and everything. He just needs someplace to stay until Puck calms him down and his dad can get here...Uhm, It should probably be just us with him" Finn added nervously. "When he's scared, other people just make it worse."

Schue nodded seriously, as if he really understood what was happening. "Take him to my office. I'll call his dad, and speak to Vocal Adrenaline." and damn, that tone was actually kind of scary.

Apparently Kurt thought so too. "Hey." Puck chided. "shhh, It's okay. You're okay. no one's mad at you. Hey, listen to me. You're okay. You're going to be fine. I've got you."

There was a small nod against his chest, but Kurt was holding his breath.

"Hey, no. You got to keep breathing." Kurt always had problems catching his breath when he was upset, it was the easiest way to gauge how he was doing.

"Come on Kurt," Puck shifted Kurt's hand, pressing it against his stomach and breathing deliberately. "Breathe with me. In and out. That's it. There you go. Did you hear Mr. Schue? We're going to go hang out in his office okay?"

Another nod, steadier breathing, and Puck looked over at his teammates. "I guess you're all staying?"

Everyone nodded, except Matt, who was glaring through the window, and Puck was really, really glad that look wasn't directed at him. Matt turned around long enough to nod once, before going back to trying to glare local adrenaline into crapping themselves.

Puck rolled his eyes. "Of course you're staying. See if you can find some jackets or something. We need to get him warmed up. He's cold. And keep out of the office. You can worry about him out in the choir room and bug Finn for details." He turned his attention back to Kurt, dismissing the others.

Puck waited until he, Kurt and Finn were the only ones outside. Finn came forward.

"Just me buddy," he said quietly, rubbing his hand up and down Kurt's back "Just Finn and Puck. I don't think you can really walk can you?"

There was a snuffle against Puck's neck, and Kurt burrowed closer. The kid could barely move, and hadn't even opened his eyes. Walking was pretty much out of the question.

"I think that's a no." Finn said, trying to inject a goofy smile into his voice. "Don't worry buddy. We got you." Carefully, Finn maneuvered Kurt, the smaller boy letting himself be gently tugged into position, before helping Puck stand, steadying Kurt while Puck adjusted his hold.

Kurt wasn't really that small, but he wasn't hard to carry. Puck had slid an arm under Kurt's knees, the other going around his back. Kurt's own arm was wrapped tightly around Puck's neck, head pillowed against his shoulder.

"Puck?" The voice was so quiet he almost missed it.

"Yeah?"

" 'm sorry" Kurt mumbled quietly, sounding dazed.

"Shh. Not your fault. You didn't do anything."

"Puck?" Kurt asked again.

Puck tightened his hold, walking carefully through the halls.

"Yeah?"

"Can you stay here with me?" Kurt's voice sounded so lost and broken, dissolving into quiet, breathy gasps. Kurt started to shake again, fine tremors running up and down his spine.

"Yeah. Yeah. Shh. I'll stay with you. Come on, shhh, we're almost there. I'll stay with you Kurt, okay. You hear me? I'll stay with you as long as you want."

Puck would too. There would be more 3 a.m. phone calls, more bathroom freak outs, and more holding Kurt, rocking him when he was too scared to sleep.

And really Puck didn't care how gay it sounded. Kurt needed him, and he promised to stay.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Kurt didn't really remember much about the day "it" happened. It had been right before Mr. Schuester took over Glee, and, for some reason, Kurt had pissed off the jocks again. Which really wasn't new. Had it been the football team? They usually stuck to dumpsters and vandalism. There was some crossover though, maybe they had learned some new tricks over the summer from a baseball player or something.

He had remembered insulting...someone's... shirt, and a year later he still found it funny that he couldn't see their faces, but that hideous american flag cowboy shirt stayed in his mind. And it had been truly horrifying. He might have mentioned burning it. Which is probably why the jocks tied him to the flagpole. Something about patriotism and respect. He couldn't remember. He had been screaming at the time.

He remembered the screaming, so he was a little terrified that he was taking this all so calmly now.

Was he dying? They say drowning was the easiest way to die. That you felt a brief euphoria as you sucked in that first lungful of water. He remembered the ocean. The waves. The salt. Were there oceans in Ohio? He'd never seen one.

Was he dead? They had sang something about a beautiful shore when his mom died. He didn't feel dead. And wouldn't there be flowers? He'd be able to smell them. Lilies. so many of them, piled near her. He hated the way they smelled.

Did oceans smell like flowers? He hoped not. His mom was at the ocean. Maybe the ocean smelled like lavender, and lemons. like his Mom. Lavender wasn't really a flower, so that would be okay.

There was something dripping in his face. Cold metal on his back. He couldn't move his hands. The world was shaking, someone was touching him.

Oh look. There was the screaming. Okay then. Not dead. That was good. Not dead.

Not dead. Not happy, so not dying. Couldn't breathe. Shouldn't breathe. He'd never get a solo with water in his lungs. Don't Die. Don't Breathe. No air.

Oh. Hi Puck. Breathe? Okay. Oh. Air. When did that get here? That felt nice, his lungs didn't hurt so much any more.

Puck was talking again. Kurt couldn't keep up. When did he get on the floor? He wrapped an arm around Puck. He didn't want to fall.

Of course he could hear Puck. Wait? Could he talk? Maybe he should nod. And then he kind of forgot to listen to Puck, because he felt really nice. And Puck was warm and someone else was mad, but it was fine and Puck was breathing, and Kurt kept forgetting to, but that was okay because Puck would make him.

He should probably listen. Schue's office? No. No, no, he wanted Puck. Puck had to come too.

And Finn. When had Finn gotten there? Whoah okay moving again.

No no no. Kurt didn't want to be picked up. He kicked out.

Oh. Puck.

'I'm Sorry. Thought you were the goons...or the jocks.' They tied kurt up. Again. Did they have a code for that happening? code...Blue maybe? He'd ask Puck.

Puck.

Kurt couldn't remember what he was going to ask. His head hurt.

'Can you stay here with me? Puck? Please? I don't feel good. You're not breathing. I can't feel you breathing. But you're talking.'

Are we going to the ocean now? Don't breathe Puck, you'll swallow water.

'Just stay here with me okay?'


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

By the time Finn made it to the choir room, hovering beside Puck, trying to rub Kurt's back as they walked, The rest of the glee club was there. Puck must have glared, because suddenly they were all looking everywhere but at Kurt.

Tina, who had drawn the short straw, stepped forward, trailing them slightly as they walked through, into Schuester's office. She paused at the door.

"W-we found c-c-cl-othes." Her stutter had come back. It did that sometimes, even if they all knew it used to be fake. Finn took in the office, and blinked.

There was a nest in the corner. He could see jackets, and some clean workout clothes, and emergency slushie replacements. A side effect of being in glee was that you kept extra shirts in your locker.

Someone had made a pillow by wrapping a book bag up in a sombrero...wait...no, that was a hat...serape?...one of those mexican cloak snuggie things that Schue used in Spanish class. there was another folded up off to the side.

There was also a couple bottles of water, and a stuffed purple duck, which was probably Brittany's.

"Thanks" He muttered, shooting Tina a small smile, before turning his back on her, focusing all his attention on his little brother.

Finn helped Puck lay Kurt down, and then helped Puck get into a sort of comfortable position when Kurt refused to let go. Puck ended up just laying down with him, curling protectively around the smaller boy, making nonsense noises and soothing hums.

"What can I do?" Finn asked quietly, then noticed the drops of blood smeared over Kurt's hands, across Puck's shirt. He pulled a pink tank top from the edge of the nest and poured some of the bottled water onto the hem. It looked like Mercedes' and she wouldn't mind.

"Kurt? Hey Buddy. We're in Schue's office okay. Me and Puck are here, and your dad's on his way. I'm going to look at your hands okay? But it's just me, so don't freak out."

He lifted a cold hand from Puck's chest, turning it and gently uncurling Kurt's fingers. The blood came from several crescent shaped gouges in the palm. Kurt must have really been balling up his fists. It didn't look like they were still bleeding though, so he just carefully dabbed the blood away.

"There you go. That's better right? I know you don't like being messy." He cleaned Kurt's other hand, and then with a fresh piece of cloth, started wiping the remaining egg white out his hair, and the tears from his face.

Finn nearly jumped when Kurt's eyelids fluttered, then opened, revealing glassy blue-green eyes. He smiled instead. "Hey."

Kurt blinked quickly, eyes watering. He flattened himself against Puck, peeking up at his brother from underneath Puck's chin.

"Hey." Finn repeated, quietly, still smiling.

"H-hi." Kurt stuttered.

"You with us?" He asked, slowly unfolding the serape, and draping it over Kurt.

Kurt shook his head, wide eyed and Puck laughed softly, bringing a hand up to rub the nape of Kurt's neck.

"You're okay" Finn repeated, now that Kurt seemed to be at least with-it enough to follow along. "You kind of scared us, but everything's all right now. Puck's going to stay with you, and me and the rest of the guys are going to be right outside. No one's going to hurt you okay?"

He hated feeling useless, but he knew Puck was much better at dealing with this than he was. Which, honestly, was really weird. Because Puck was okay, but comforting, and dealing with emotions, those weren't really his strong points. Puck's usual way of taking care of things was punching. Someone makes you cry, punch them. You're feeling sad, find someone to punch. Assholes tie your friend to a flagpole and make him have a major freak out? Punch everyone that asshole has ever known, including the doctor that delivered his grandmother. Dig him up and punch him if you have to. Then have sex with someone's mom... because, well that's just what Puck did.

So yeah, it was weird that Puck was basically cuddling with Kurt, and petting him and shushing him, and being creepy gentle.

But he also knew that Puck knew that Kurt needed someone to do that. Someone who could also be counted on to punch anyone that got to close. And that was Puck. He was a lot better at it than Finn. He could calm.

Plus Puck seemed to like Kurt, which okay, Finn honestly just wasn't dealing with that right now.

"Do you want some water?" He asked, knowing he was stalling. It might be easier if there were two people to help Kurt do that.

Kurt shook his head.

"Okay." Finn fussed with the makeshift blanket, tucking it around Kurt, whose eyes were already sliding closed again, then he picked up Brittany's stuffed duck, holding it up for Kurt to see.

Kurt smiled, touched by the cheerleader's gesture, and reached out for it, hugging the toy gently to his chest. "Britt?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah" Finn grinned down at him, and Puck snorted.

"I'll tell her you liked it." Finn stroked Kurt's hair, trying to remind himself that Kurt wasn't really so much younger than him. Sometimes Kurt acted so young...and then so old and tired. But he was strong too. "I'm going to go out and explain some things to the rest of glee club. Is that okay? They're worried about you."

Kurt's breath hitched, and he froze, eyes gone wide again.

"Hey. Shh. I know, you wanted to tell them. And that you don't want them to know, but..." Finn trailed off.

"s'ok" Kurt murmured, turning his face into Puck's neck. "tell 'em." He was shaking again.

"Go on Hudson" Puck said, not unkindly. "I've got this. Get out there and calm them down before Aretha decided to bust in."

Finn nodded, hand hovering uncertainly over Kurt's back for a second before he stumbled to his feet, backing out and shutting the door behind him, the click of it closing muffling Kurt's quiet sobs.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"Is the baby all right?" Brittany asked immediately.

Finn blinked, letting himself be led over to a chair by Rachel, a warm can of coke pressed into his hand. He blinked again, noticing that the chair had been placed right in the middle of a semi-circle of concerned gleeks. It felt like an interrogation scene on CSI.

"Kurt's not pregnant Brittany. He's a guy." Finn explained carefully, relieved when she seemed to accept that explanation with a nod.

"Uhm...he liked your duck by the way." he said, and was rewarded with a beaming smile.

Mercedes rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. "Yeah, that's nice and all, but can you tell us what the hell just happened here?"

"And who possessed Puck?" Artie added uncertainly.

Finn sighed, and blew out a long breath. This wasn't going to be easy.

"Okay, uhm. Well he really wanted to tell you...and I think he should be the one to give all the details, but Kurt has panic attacks. You know how he freaks out when he gets slushies on his shirt? Well like that, but a thousand times worse. He hadn't had one since last year, when some-" Finn swallowed. "-some jocks tied him up to the flag pole. That was right before we all joined glee."

"I forgot that was him" Santana said. "Wasn't he out of school for like ...a month or something?"

"A week." Finn corrected. "But he's been doing really good. ...uhm well not lately. He had a panic attack one day at our house. Puck was able to calm him down. Because he has a little sister, so he knows what to do." he added quickly, trying to defend Puck's baddassness.

"I still think we should call an exorcist." Artie muttered, trying to lighten the mood. It seemed to work a little, and Finn took a gulp of soda before continuing.

"That's why he's been quiet sometimes, and all those trips to the bathroom. He can usually tell when he's about to start freaking out, and he doesn't like people around when it happens, so he goes some place quiet. He can't really control it. It's like a medical condition. His brain's not hooked up right or something, but he's not crazy. He just...freaks out" And wow, Finn really needed to shut up when he started to ramble.

"Why didn't he tell anyone?" Quinn asked, sounding hurt.

"The same reason you didn't tell anyone you were pregnant" Tina said. "You were scared, and embarrassed. And Kurt's already secretive about a lot of stuff anyway."

"He was going to tell you!" Finn blurted out. "He told all his teachers today, and he was going to tell you guys after the throw-down with Vocal Adrenaline. He was up all night practicing a speech or... something. But then they-they tied to him the flagpole, and he freaked out. He's still freaking out. Puck's taking care of him and his dad will be here soon and-" Rambling. Stop it. Finn chastised himself.

"Will he be okay?" Matt asked, finally speaking up.

Finn just shrugged helplessly. "He's had some pretty bad ones, but I've never seen him like this before. I think his Dad had to take him to the hospital once, when he was real little, and they have some medicine or something that helps."

He shrugged again and for a moment everyone stayed quiet, pretending not to hear Kurt crying behind the office door, or Puck singing to him softly, too quiet for any of them to make out the song.

"Jesse said it was just a prank." Rachel, of course, was the one to break the silence. She was waving her cellphone too fast for anyone to see the texts, and shrank back slightly at the looks directed towards her.

"He said that they had no idea that Kurt would react badly. They knew about the flag pole thing, that a teacher had found him crying, but he thought that was an exaggeration. It was just a prank."

"Why are you talking to him?" Mercedes asked, exasperated.

"Because, he's the leader of Vocal Adrenaline." Rachel said as if the answer was obvious.

Finn stared at her blankly.

He knew he should have punched St. James earlier.

Rachel sighed. "And as their leader, he has a front row seat to what's going on out there. Mr. Schuester is threatening lawsuits, and two of the boys have already admitted to it. They keep asking Jesse to make sure Kurt knows they didn't mean to hurt him. It was just supposed to be a prank. They're all very sorry."

And Finn couldn't help but be impressed that Kurt had managed to psych out the entire 26 member rival glee club. If Kurt freaking out scared them, he really hoped those assholes got a glimpse of Burt.

"What can we do to help Kurt?" Mike asked, steering them all back away from their Vocal Adrenaline based thoughts. "From now on. How do we take care of him?"

Finn knew he shouldn't be surprised, but the honesty in Mike's voice dazed him. He looked around the room, each person was nodding in agreement.

"We don't want him to be scared." Brittany said simply.

"And we need to let him know that we're going to be there for him." Mercedes added.

Finn smiled. Kurt had a lot of good friends. weird friends maybe, but good, and he knew that they'd stand by him. No matter what. It's what friends did. What family did.

"Oh god." Matt muttered, faking an expression of dawning horror. "We're going to have to do a song and dance aren't we?"

The room exploded into, oddly quiet (Kurt was still in the next room), laughter, and Finn let himself relax down into his chair, while the group started arguing about choreography and music styles as they kept watch over Schuester's office, guarding and waiting for their friend.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Kurt's hips swayed idly, as he stood in front of the stove, making blueberry pancakes. He and his dad had a standing rule: The guy who made breakfast chose the playlist. Well...guy in the general sense now. Carole's veggie omelette (egg white and fat free cheddar, thanks) were totally worth her garth brooks collection.

But today it was just him and dad again, and Shakira. Carole had left for work and Finn was off to school. Kurt hadn't even woken up until he heard his brother slamming the door on his way out.

Burt had waited to eat with his son, reminding Kurt that it was named Hummel Tire and Lube for a reason, and the boss could be late for work if he wanted.

Kurt slid the cooked pancakes on to a paper towel, letting them cool while he fixed up a thermos of coffee.

They had already had breakfast and his dad had offered to stay home, but Kurt wouldn't let him. Burt had already took yesterday off, and left work early the day before that. So he shooed him off to the shower, and promised to wrap up some leftovers. He may have accidently miscalculated how much pancake batter they needed. The fact that blueberry pancakes were amazing with french vanilla ice cream (that Dad thought he didn't know was hidden in the back of the freezer) was just a coincidence, and besides he needed to make up all of those calories burned off by stress.

It had been two days since...the prank on Wednesday, and Dad had cooked yesterday, a horrifyingly fattening hash brown casserole that just happened to be Kurt's favorite meal ever. He planned to sneak the last helping for lunch, or maybe a second breakfast.

So Kurt was cooking today, and he hadn't told Carole but he was also planning to toss something in the crock pot (orange chicken maybe? There were some snow peas in the fridge) before spending the rest of day on the couch. Just because he was feeling lazy didn't mean he couldn't be useful.

"Mohawk's outside" Burt announced. "He's been sitting across the street in his car for an hour. You want me to run him off?"

Kurt couldn't decipher the look on his dad's face. It was a cross between annoyance and concern, and maybe some amusement.

"It's fine." He waved his hand dismissively, dropping the warm pancakes, a banana, and a handful of take out sugars and creamers into a paper bag. He handed it to his dad, along with the thermos. "It's Puck. He probably just has my homework or something." Okay, and that was probably a lie. Puck and homework didn't really mix, be he might be on a mission from Mercedes or another gleek.

"I'll make sure he goes to school before he misses too many classes." Kurt added, following his dad to the porch, hugging him tightly before stepping back to lean against the door frame. Across the street, Puck was holding a newspaper in front of his face, trying to look inconspicuous.

His dad started to stay something, evidently thought better of it, and settled for ruffling Kurt's hair. "All right Kiddo. Make sure to call me if you need anything, and don't rot your brain with all that daytime TV."

Kurt smiled, waving as his dad left, only to stare in faint horror as the older man marched straight over to Puck's car, leaning in to say something. The newspaper fell and Puck's eyebrows shot up. The teen nodded, slightly frantic, and Burt clapped a hand on his shoulder before turning to give Kurt a small nod, climbing into his truck and driving away.

With a roll of his eyes, Kurt motioned for Puck to come inside, before turning back to go into the house.

"Your dad is scary." Puck announced, moments later, as Kurt was pouring the last batch of pancakes onto the griddle.

"What did he say?" Kurt asked.

"To stop being a creepy stalker, and that if I was planning to stay until dinner to call my mom so she wouldn't worry." Puck was fiddling with a plastic bag he had brought in.

Kurt laughed. "I told him I would try to make you go to school. Guess that's not your plan?"

Puck shook his head. He had thought so. As the pancakes cooked, Kurt pulled the plate of hash browns out of the fridge, along with some other breakfast staples.

"Good Jew?" He held up a package of tofurkey "sausage" links, "Or Bad Jew?" he waved the pack of microwave bacon temptingly.

"Bad Jew!" Puck said, eyeing the bacon like a starving man. Kurt slid 5 pieces on to the plate with the casserole, along with some leftover scrambled eggs, and put everything in the microwave. He flipped the pancakes. "Coffee or Juice?...oh why am I even asking. There's soda in the fridge, and some of it's Finn's, so not diet."

Puck grinned. then tilted his head. "So how're you feeling? I'm supposed to report back. I think the girls are about to have kittens."

"I'm doing fine. And I've told them that. I'm just still kind of drained from the therapy session yesterday, and I don't have any tests I'll miss today or anything." Kurt answered, pulling the plate out of the microwave, and added a stack of pancakes and a fruit cup (A hopeless cause,really), before setting it in front of Puck.

The truth was that he was fine. Mostly. He still kept reliving bits and pieces of Wednesday, getting Finn or his Dad to fill in some of the gaps (Apparently he *had* agreed to go to the hospital, which had turned out to be a good thing, because hospitals had awesome drugs and he ended up sleeping through most of the panic aftershocks. He still thought that they had ganged up on him until he agreed to go. He remembered waking up once, and Puck bitching about the vending machine coffee.)

Puck dove into the food eagerly, and Kurt smiled.

"So you're just playing hooky then?" Puck asked "You could totally milk this thing. I think even Coach Sylvester would let you skip practice. Did you see Sue's Corner last night?"

He had actually. It had been a rambling diatribe about patriotism, respecting the flag, and mandatory stoning for people who misused school property, which was the coach's roundabout way of showing support he guessed.

"Yeah. I'll be back to school on Monday, Puck." He reassured his friend, rolling up his own pancake and dipping it in a dish of strawberry jelly before taking a bite. "How's everything at Glee?"

"Good." Puck muttered around a strip of bacon. "Schuester brought Ms. Pillsbury in to talk to us, but we got Brittany to distract her. We all decided to wait until you had a chance to explain things first. Rachel and Quinn are plotting...something, that involves cookies I think. Oh, and those jerks from Vocal Adrenaline are off to glee club until after regionals. Something about missing too many practices."

Kurt knew about that. His dad, and Mr. Schuester, had wanted him to press assault charges, but he thought that was too harsh. So he had suggested that all the members of Vocal Adrenaline attend a mandated lecture on bullying (during a rehearsal time of course). The two boys would be taking a more in depth class on the same subject. It had just been coincidence, and Caramel High's insane practice schedule, that meant the boys would miss too many practice sessions.

"What's in the bag?" Kurt quickly changed the subject.

"Oh!" Puck swallowed a mouthful of food, reaching into the bag and holding up each item.

"Some dvds from the rental machine. Finn said you liked horror." And yes, Kurt did, though it was supposed to be their dirty little secret. He hoped it wasn't torture porn. Saw was the most disgusting move ever...well since Dirty Dancing.

"Popcorn" It was fat-free too, and Kurt was strangely touched at the gesture.

"And uh-" Puck paused, shifting in his seat. Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"Well it's kind of stupid. But I told my mom I was visiting someone who I liked and was sick. And she kept harping and harping about how I needed to bring something, but I had no idea what you liked. I mean, I know what to get a girl, but I couldn't think of anything else, and I figured, well, you're kind of a girl and-"

"Puck. Noah!" Kurt held up his hand to stop the rambling, and then squinted, rubbing his temple. He felt dizzy just listening. "Just- Breathe."

Puck scowled and pulled the last item out of the bag. It was a rose, slightly wilted, with a gas station logo on the cellophane. As he held it up it sagged pathetically, the stem obviously broken from being hurriedly stuffed in the bag.

"Chicks like flowers." Puck defended himself. "I was going to get you chocolate, but I knew you'd bitch about your thighs. And they didn't have any porno mags for gay guys..."

Kurt tried not to laugh. He really, really did. Puck could tell though, and the wounded look on his face sent Kurt over the edge.

It was a solid minute before Kurt could breathe again, and he quickly reached out, keeping Puck at the table with a hand on his arm, as he wiped his teary eyes.

"Thank you." he said honestly. It was one of the sweetest, if most awkward, gestures he had ever seen. "It's lovely." his lips twitched again, and this time so did Puck's.

Kurt took the flower, and busied himself with trimming the stem, and finding a beer bottle in the recycling bin to use as a vase. The long brown neck cradled the snapped stem, keeping it upright, and he added a little sugar to the water, though it was probably too late to try to save the bloom.

He set the rose on the widow sill, next to a get well card from Mercedes (threatening his scarf collection if he tried to keep any more secrets) and Ballad, the little purple duck that Brittany had insisted he keep in case he got scared again.

"You know," Puck said teasingly, coming up behind him, studying the makeshift vase. "When a guy brings you flowers, you're supposed to at least let him get to first base."

"I thought you weren't gay?" And wasn't that an old conversation. Puck defended his heterosexuality at least once a day.

"I'm not!" Puck said quickly, and Kurt rolled his eyes.

"You know the reason I like you?" Puck continued, stepping closer to Kurt, pressing against his back, his breath warm against Kurt's ear.

"You are one of the baddest motherfuckers I know. You're a complete diva bitch to the jocks, and I've seen you put Rachel in her place more times than I can count. You made the football team dance. You can wear a dress to school, and look badass doing it." Puck paused, "You looked really hot too. I mean stupidly hot. Those heels..." he cleared his throat, and carefully wrapped his hands around Kurt's waist, pulling him back to lean against his chest.

"And life keeps throwing you all this stupid, messed up, shit, and sometimes you're not fine, sometimes you're so fucking terrified I think you're going to break, but you always keep fighting, and you come out okay, again and again. You're so damn strong, Kurt, and if I was half that strong it would scare the shit out of me."

Kurt was frozen. Because, really, he had just gotten up, and he wasn't sure he could handle something like this so early in the morning. But Puck had obviously been rehearsing what to say, and he knew how hard it was for Puck to admit he had actual human emotions.

"And I'm totally not gay." Puck added. "I like chicks. I really like chicks. Some of them have really awesome boobs. But I've been thinking... I might be a little ... hummelsexual."

Kurt choked on a surprised laugh, wriggling around so he could face Puck, still wrapped in his arms.

"Hummelsexual? Really" He asked incredulously, laughing. He wondered how long it took Puck to come up with that pun.

Puck wiggled his eyebrows, a devious grin on his face now that he apparently didn't think Kurt was going to freak out or sic daddy Hummel on him for being a creep.

"Well I think you should let me get to first base to be sure." Puck said seriously.

And really that was all Puck for you. Kurt rolled his eyed then reached up, tentatively, to kiss him, lightly, barely brushing his lips and backing off again before Puck could take over.

"I'm not that easy. Noah Puckerman." Kurt teased, staying in Puck's hold. "I think first base with me is at least worth a date."

"Okay." Puck shrugged. "I'm supposed to drag you to glee practice after school if you're up for everyone fussing over you. We can stop for milkshakes or something first."

Kurt should have known he couldn't hide from his friends for too long, and they would just convince Finn to invite them over if Kurt didn't go. Really, he could handle a little fussing, and he was woefully behind on his glee related gossip. And milkshakes with Puck sounded kind of fun.

"Starbucks." Kurt countered. He might as well make Puck work for it.

"Sure." Puck agreed, tightening his hold for a second before letting go. "Wait...who pays when two dudes go on a date? Because Starbucks is kind of expensive if you're not going to put out."

For the second time in less than a half hour, Kurt dissolved into breathless laughter.

"Don't worry" he gasped, herding Puck back to the table to finish his breakfast. "I'll buy. I've heard you're a pretty cheap date." He sat down next to him, filching a piece of fruit from Puck's plate.

"And I think I might just be a little bit attracted to you too." He admitted. "...Though if you call me puckersexual I will smother you in your sleep." he warned, letting Puck steal a quick kiss.

Yeah. They could totally handle this.

-The End-


End file.
